I've Dated Worse
by greengirl82
Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in '52 Pick Up' that she's dated worse men than Viper and decides to investigate her exes. *Mentions of men outside the CM world
1. What's Worse Than Viper?

**I've Dated Worse**

Disclaimer: So I guess we gotta go with this whole thing again, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me. :(

Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in **'52 Pick Up'** that she's dated worse than Viper. Wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Emily, so he decides to investigate her past dating record.

A/N: Makes mention of men on other tv shows outside of CM's world. May seem a little OOC, but that's what fanfic for.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

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><p>Mae West said, "Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for you're smile."<p>

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><p><em>"You're ok with this, right?" Hotch asked walking into the woman's locker room.<em>

_"Yeah, I'll be fine." Emily said while putting on her earring "Sadly I've actually dated people worse than Viper."_

_"Wow." Hotch said._

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><p><em>'Worse than Viper?<em>' Hotch thought _'How could anyone date anything worse than Viper?'_

Hotch looked down into the bullpen at Emily on the phone laughing.

_'She really is beautiful'_ Hotch thought _'But if I'm going to take that leap, I need to know why the others failed. So I don't go down that path.'_

Hotch looked back over at her, and could only ever remember one man that he knew had a romantic past with Emily, since she'd been at the BAU.

John Cooley.

_'Now how do I find the others?'_ Hotch thought _'Ask Garcia to look into it for him? JJ too? Ask the guys she's ended relationships with? Or just ask her?'_

Hotch thought _'I'll ask her for a list of her exes. Than if she says no, ask JJ and Garcia.'_

Hotch looked down into the bullpen and whispers "If she doesn't kill me first."

The brunette's eyes traveled up to his office, and she caught him staring at her. A small smile on his lips had her immediately smiling back.

Hotch gave her a small nod to come up and talk to him, so she got up to head to his office.

Emily knocked on his door and heard the ever polite "Come in."

Emily saw Hotch look nervous and a bit afraid.

"What's up?" Emily asked taking a seat in front of him.

"I know this is a rather inappropriate time to have this conversation" Hotch began "But I'd like to go out with you."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyebrow raised in surprise.

Hotch took a deep breath "I want to go out with you, Emily."

"Oh" Emily's cheeks go crimson and she starts breathing deeply feeling light headed "Ok."

"Are you ok?" Hotch asked "You look like you're going to pass out."

Emily shook her head "No, I'm fine. Just caught me off guard. Sure, I'm ok with that. Anything else?"

"Well there is one other thing, I'd like to ask" Hotch said taking a deep breath "Can you give me a list of all your past boyfriends that you can remember?"

Emily's eyes widen at that, "Uh... Why?"

Hotch looked down at his desk and said "Because I want to know where they failed, so I don't go down... Ah hell I want that and to check out what I'm up against."

Emily bit her lip and contemplated this, 'I do want to date Hotch, but give him a list of her exes? All of them?'

Emily inhaled and said "Ok, on one condition."

Hotch felt relief and said "Ok? What's the condition?"

"You can't judge me, by whatever most of them said" Emily said seriously "Some of the break ups where pretty messy."

"Ok" Hotch nodded, "I can live with that."

Emily took a pen and piece of paper off his desk, "Some of these are really long ago exes so I don't know if they still have the same number."

"I'll get Garcia to look into it" Hotch said.

Emily's head shot up "No, not her. Ok. Use Kevin and threaten him into secrecy. Not Garcia, got it?"

Hotch nodded and watched her write down names.

Handing the list over, Emily asked "What are you going to do? With the list?"

Hotch looked over at her and said "Call them. Don't worry I won't actually see them in person."

"Just be careful, you don't know what you're opening up with this." Emily said walking out of the office.

Hotch looked down at the list, sixteen men.

Sixteen different failed romances, and sixteen different men who all got a chance with her but failed.

Hotch called Kevin up to his office and had him track down the men.

Looking at the list he saw two cops, a glee coach, a Federal Agent, two B-list actors, a high level executive, a firefighter, a plumber, a magician, a Deputy White House Chief of Staff, a photographer, a doctor, a junior copy executive, a paper salesman, and a coffee vending machine owner.

Hotch was surprised that a few of these men were criminals.

_'What the hell was Emily thinking?'_ Hotch thought looking at the crimes.

Hotch picked up the phone and down at the list and the photos of the men.

_'Who to call first?'_ Hotch thought.

Hotch picked up the phone and dialed the first man, he thought of.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	2. First On The List

**I've Dated Worse**

Disclaimer: So I guess we gotta go with this whole thing again, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me. :(

Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in **'52 Pick Up'** that she's dated worse than Viper. Wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Emily, so he decides to investigate her past dating record.

A/N: Makes mention of men on other tv shows outside of CM's world. May seem a little OOC, but that's what fanfic for.

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><p>Hotch looked down at the photo and dialed John Cooley.<p>

"Hello?" John answered the phone.

"John Cooley?" Hotch asked "This is Agent Aaron Hotchner, Emily's boss."

"Oh, hello" John replied "Is Emily ok?"

"Oh, she's fine." Hotch said "I just wanted to ask you some questions about you're past with her."

"Uh, ok" John said "I've got a few minutes before I've got to go to work."

"Thank you" Hotch said "How long were you and Emily involved?"

"For about six months, when we were fifteen" John answered.

"And why did you end?" Hotch asked.

"We were young and stupid, but the main reason we ended?" John told him, "You'll have to talk to her about that, that's not my place to tell."

"Ok" Hotch said feeling the underlying meaning behind his tone "Well did you love her?"

"Yes, and I screwed that up" John said "As much as a teenager can screw up a young relationship."

"Thank you for you're time, John" Hotch said.

"Tell Em, I said 'hey'" John said hanging up.

Hotch looked down and crossed Cooley off his list, and looked back at the list in front of him.

_'Who next?'_ Hotch thought, than looked over at the photo of the crooked cop Emily dated.

"Curtis Lemansky?" Hotch said looking at the photo "Wow. His friend looks a lot like Cooley."

Hotch picked up the phone and called the L.A.P.D.

"Los Angeles Police Department, Farmington Division" said a woman "This Captain Wyms speaking."

"Hello, this is Agent Aaron Hotchner of the FBI," Hotch said "May I speak with Detective Lemansky?"

"I'm sorry but Detective Lemansky was murdered in 2007" Wyms said. "His death was not publicized due to the nature of his criminal dealings, that's why he has not received a motorcade funeral. He was murdered by one of his own team members, Detective Vendrell."

"Oh" Hotch said "Thank you for telling me."

"May I ask why you wanted to speak to Lemansky?" Wyms asked.

"I wanted to know about a personal relationship he had with one of my agents" Hotch said "I'm sorry to have bothered you."

Hotch hanged up on Wyms feeling horrible about the crooked dealings and a man murdered by a cop who he had trusted.

Hotch looked down in the bullpen and felt bad for Emily.

Hotch looked at his list and decided to try someone a little cleaner, not to have to worry about someone using Emily for information.

Hotch picked up the phone and dialed Will Schuester, a teacher.

"Hello?" Will Schuester said.

"Is this Will Schuester?" Hotch asked "This is Agent Hotchner of the FBI."

"This is Will" Will replied "How may I help you?"

"Yes, I'm calling about a relationship you had with one of my agents" Hotch said, "Emily Prentiss?"

"Oh?" Will said sounding cheery "How is Emily?"

"She's fine" Hotch said "Can you tell me how long you two were involved?"

"A little over four months back in 2008" Will said.

"And why did you two end?" Hotch asked.

"My ex-wife came between us, and I chose to end it with Emily to spare her feelings. And for her to avoid the wrath of my ex." Will said "That was the biggest mistake of my life."

"How so?" Hotch asked.

"If you spent five minutes with Emily, you'll know how amazing she is" Will said "Why are you asking me about my relationship with Emily?"

"I'm checking out all her exes, because I'm interested in her. And I want to avoid their mistakes." Hotch said.

"Oh" Will said "Then I'll give you some advice, don't let anyone tell you she's less than she is."

After hanging up with Will, Hotch decided who was next on his list. Ryan Howard.

"Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin" a woman said.

"May I please be connected to Ryan Howard?" Hotch asked.

"One moment please" Erin said.

"This is Ryan Howard, how may I help you?" Ryan said.

"This is Agent Aaron Hotchner of the FBI" Hotch said.

"I was cleared of those charges!" Ryan said "Who called you?"

"Mr. Howard, I'm not calling about any past incidents you had" Hotch said "I want to speak to you about Emily Prentiss."

"Oh" Ryan said feeling relieved "What about her?"

"How long you two were dating and when and how you broke up?" Hotch asked.

"I met Emily when I was in a New York club in 2008 we dated briefly but she dumped me because of my..." Ryan started than said "Look I had a cocaine addiction and was arrested for fraud."

Hotch could hear a woman in the background talking loudly.

"Ryan? Why are you ignoring me?" the woman said "Are you talking to one of those 900 numbers again?"

"Kelly, I'm on the phone with the FBI" Ryan said "Sorry about that Agent Hotchner."

"FBI?" Kelly said "Are you trying to get one of us in trouble?"

"I'm on the phone, Kelly" Ryan said.

"I'll let you go and deal with however that is" Hotch said "Thank you for you're time."

Hotch hanged up with Ryan while he heard Kelly trying to talk on the phone with him.

Looking down at the list, Hotch debated who else to call.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	3. Not Good Enough For Her

**I've Dated Worse**

Disclaimer: So I guess we gotta go with this whole thing again, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me. :(

Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in **'52 Pick Up'** that she's dated worse than Viper. Wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Emily, so he decides to investigate her past dating record.

A/N: Makes mention of men on other tv shows outside of CM's world. May seem a little OOC, but that's what fanfics are for.

Thanks for reading, and remember to leave a review.

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><p>Hotch was seriously debating making anymore calls but decided to go with it.<p>

_'What could be worse then a man whipped by his ex wife, a dirty dead cop, a ex childhood boyfriend, a recovering addict arrested for fraud?_' Hotch thought _'How much worse could it get?'_

Hotch decided to call Mike Delfino. He seemed like a normal plumber.

"Hello Delfino residents, this is MJ" a little boy answered.

"Hi, this is Agent Hotchner with the FBI" Hotch told the boy, "May I speak to Mike Delfino?"

"One moment please" MJ said.

"Hello?" a male voice said, "This is Mike Delfino."

"My name is Agent Hotchner of the FBI" Hotch said "I'm calling about Emily Prentiss."

"Is she all right?" Mike asked, concern evident in his tone.

"Yes, I just wanted to know about the nature of you're relationship with Emily" Hotch said "Like how long you dated, and why it ended."

Hotch looked at the photo of Mike Delfino and then into the bullpen at Emily.

"Wow" Mike said "I guess we dated for awhile back in the mid 90s. It was very brief." Mike said quickly.

"Oh?" Hotch asked "Why'd it end?"

"Yeah, well..." Mike started "I was arrested for murder. But I was totally innocent."

"Murder?" Hotch looked down at the file on Delfino the name Monique Pollier flashing over his eyes.

"I was framed" Mike said quickly "An honest mistake."

"Don't worry Mr. Delfino" Hotch said "I'm only interested in Emily Prentiss."

"Why are you so interested in Emily?" Mike asked suspiciously.

"She's an agent on my team, and I'm interested in her socially" Hotch said.

"Ok" Mike said somewhat relieved, "Good luck with that, she's one in a million."

Hotch hanged up with Mike Delfino, his eyes scanning the information deciding on who to call next.

"Go for Barney Stinson" a peppy voice said answering the phone.

"Mr. Stinson?" Hotch said "This Aaron Hotchner, FBI."

"Ha ha very funny Ted" Barney said.

"No, Mr. Stinson this is Aaron Hotchner, FBI" Hotch replied in his authoritative tone.

"Robin? You and Ted aren't pulling something are you?" Barney said.

"No. Not unless you check your car" Robin replied.

"How can I help you?" Barney asked, curiosity in tone.

"I want to know about your relationship with Emily Prentiss" Hotch asked.

"Emily Prentiss?" Barney repeated, "Lily, Marshall? Which one was Emily?"

Hotch seethed at that _'This guy too much of a playboy to remember Emily?'_

"Hot brunette, FBI agent" Robin said "Big brown eyes, did this little thing where she bit her lip. Remember?"

"Oh yeah" Barney said "My relationship with Emily? It was a two day escapade."

"That's it?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah, it was about what like almost four months ago" Barney said "New Years party."

"Thank you for your time" Hotch said.

"Say..." Barney said "Do you have any other single agents on your team?"

Hotch hanged up on him mid sentence thinking _'Pig.'_

Hotch looked down at the list once again and said "Who the hell is next?"

Hotch randomly picked a person and dialed.

"New York's 55th Precinct, this is Lieutenant Swersky speaking" Swersky said.

"May I please speak to Officer Boscorelli?" Hotch asked.

"Hang on" Swersky said.

"Hello?" Boscorelli answered, "This is Boscorelli."

"Officer Boscorelli?" Hotch said "This is Aaron Hotchner, FBI."

"Yeah?" Bosco said "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk about Emily Prentiss" Hotch said. "About your romantic relationship with her?"

"What about it?" Bosco said "We dated for about six months in 2004, then she dumped me."

"Do you know why?" Hotch asked.

"Because she got mad that I flirted with a cop from Anti-Crime" Bosco said "She's a sweet girl, but look I'm a guy. It's what we do."

"Thank you for your time, Officer" Hotch said hanging up, running his hand over his face.

Hotch looked over the list and decided on who to call next and sighed _'I'm going to be here all day.'_

Hotch picked up the phone and dialed the firefighter on the list Jimmy Doherty. Frowning at the thought he looked like an unsub they dealt with, but shook his head.

"Hello" a male voice replied in to his cell phone.

"Jimmy Doherty?" Hotch said "Aaron Hotchner, FBI."

"How can I help you?" Jimmy said.

"I have a few questions about your relationship with Emily Prentiss" Hotch said.

"What about her?" Jimmy asked.

"Just when you dated her and why it ended" Hotch said.

"We dated briefly in 2004 for a few months then I ended it to get back together with my ex wife" Jimmy said "Look I gotta go, she gets real testy on my past."

Jimmy hanged up on Hotch who just shook his head.

Hotch picked up the phone and dialed Sam Seaborn.

"This is Deputy Communications Director Seaborn" Sam answered.

"Hello Deputy Director" Hotch said feeling uneasy "This is Agent Aaron Hotchner of the FBI."

"How may I help you Agent?" Sam asked.

Hotch looked down at the photo of the attractive man and banged his head against his hand.

"I wanted a moment of your time to speak to you on the romantic relationship you had with Emily Prentiss" Hotch asked.

"May I ask why?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"Well sir" Hotch said "I'm interested in Emily and I just wanted to know how her past relationships failed to avoid going down that road."

"So you thought tracking down her previous failed relationships would work?" Sam asked.

"Well... yes sir." Hotch said.

Sam just chuckled, "Emily and I had a brief relationship which she ended due to her hatred of politics."

"That's all?" Hotch asked.

"Yes, I very much liked her. But she couldn't stand the job" Sam said "If that's all I have a very important meeting to attend."

Hotch hung up with Sam feeling slightly better that Emily hadn't only dated total scum that their were a few good guys in the bunch.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	4. Getting A Headache

**I've Dated Worse**

Disclaimer: So I guess we gotta go with this whole thing again, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me. :(

Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in **'52 Pick Up'** that she's dated worse than Viper. Wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Emily, so he decides to investigate her past dating record.

A/N: Makes mention of men on other tv shows outside of CM's world. May seem a little OOC, but that's what fanfics are for.

Thanks for continuing to read this, remember to leave a review.

* * *

><p>Hotch was half tempted to throw the list away, until he talked to Sam. There was at least one or two decent men on Emily's list.<p>

Deciding to make a few more calls he picked up the phone and dialed the Federal Agent, Tony DiNozzo.

"DiNozzo" Tony answered.

"Agent DiNozzo?" Hotch said "This is Aaron Hotchner, FBI."

"What can I do for you sir?" Tony asked.

"I'd like to know about your relationship with an agent on my BAU team" Hotch told him, "Emily Prentiss?"

Tony chuckled, "Ah, Emily..."

"Agent DiNozzo?" Hotch said using his authoritative tone on the man.

"We briefly dated in late 2006 until I had to break it off due to an undercover assignment" Tony answered, his mind briefly returning to the past, his time undercover.

"Well was it before the break off a successful and happy relationship?" Hotch asked.

"It was a nice one but we hadn't really got to know each other that well, since she was still new to town" Tony said "But I really liked spending time with her, and maybe you could give her my number..."

Hotch heard Tony said "Thank you boss. Gotta go, duty calls."

Hotch was hanged up on and sighed as he rubbed his temples with his hands.

Picking up the phone Hotch decided to focus on one of the actors that he sorta recognized.

"Go for Drama!" Johnny 'Drama' Chase said.

"John Chase?" Hotch asked.

"Who wants to know?" Drama said.

"Aaron Hotchner, FBI" Hotch said, he swore he could hear whisperings of hide it.

"What do you want?" Drama asked.

"I wanted to know about your relationship with Emily Prentiss" Hotch asked feeling he was talking in circles.

"Oh Em" Drama chuckled "She's a real classy lady. I met her when I did my stint on Melrose Place."

"Melrose Place?" Hotch repeated briefly remembering Haley watching it.

"I was a regular back in the 90s. Emily came to the set when one of the extras got all fatal attraction on one of the leads" Drama told him, "We briefly hooked up but then she got transferred to I think it was St. Louis."

"Thank you for your time, Mr. Chase" Hotch said relieved to end the call.

Hotch decide to do a few more calls, he could feel a headache coming on.

"Bluth residents" a male childlike voice answered, "Buster speaking."

"Can I speak to George Oscar Bluth?" Hotch asked, his eyes frowning at the nickname, _'Gob? Like job?'_

"Gob! Telephone." Buster said.

"Gob Bluth, magician speaking" Gob said ecstatically.

"This is Agent Hotchner, FBI" Hotch said.

"I swear she said she was 18" Gob said panicking.

"What?" Hotch said.

"I mean what do you want?" Gob said "Maybe I should get my brother Michael for you."

Hotch could hear the speaker button being pushed.

"Gob?" Hotch heard a man say "Why am I being forced to answer questions for you?"

"Gob Bluth?" Hotch asked again "I just want to know about your relationship with my agent, Emily Prentiss."

"I didn't slip her anything!" Gob said "I swear it fell in."

"Gob why don't you let the man finish his sentence before you end up in prison with Dad?" Michael told him.

"How long did you date Emily Prentiss and why did it end?" Hotch asked.

"Oh? Her?" Michael answered "Gob dated her for about two weeks before she ran away from this family." Michael added "Real shame too. A pretty girl like that."

"Thank you, Mr. Bluth" Hotch said "At least one of you is sane."

Hotch ended the call with the Bluths feeling a worse headache pounding through his skull.

Hotch decided on one more phone call feeling like he aged twenty years by these phone calls.

"Hey Dummy" Dennis Duffy said "I knew you'd be back."

"Dennis Duffy?" Hotch asked.

"Your not Liz" Dennis said "Who are you?"

"Aaron Hotchner, FBI" Hotch said.

"She called the feds on me?" Dennis said "I told her that Catch a Predator thing was a set up!"

"You were on To Catch a Predator?" Hotch asked disgusted.

"Framed" Dennis said "What do you want?"

"Emily Prentiss" Hotch said "Your relationship with her."

"Her?" Dennis Duffy asked laughing "We totally hooked up, of course she dumped me when she knew I wanted Liz back."

"You were seeing them both at the same time?" Hotch asked.

"No, I was dating Emily until she dumped me when she found out I wanted Dummy back" Dennis said. "I was totally cool with the idea of all three of us together, but they shot that idea down."

Hotch sighed, "How long ago was this?"

"Maybe I think few years ago" Dennis said "Haven't seen much of Emily. Where is she any ways maybe I'll go see how she's doing?"

"I don't think Agent Prentiss would appreciate that" Hotch said using his scary tone.

"She'll be back" Dennis said "They always come back."

Hotch slammed the phone down on Dennis Duffy, looking down at the last three names he ripped the paper in two.

"No need to know about Joey Tribbiani, Chandler Bing or Dave Malucci" Hotch said to himself.

Hotch called Emily up to his office and threw his head down on the desk in defeat. She really did date men worse then Viper.

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><p><strong>To Be Continued...<strong>


	5. The Last One

**I've Dated Worse**

Disclaimer: So I guess we gotta go with this whole thing again, CBS owns Criminal Minds. Not me. :(

Summary: Hotch remembers Emily telling him in** '52 Pick Up'** that she's dated worse than Viper. Wanting to pursue a romantic relationship with Emily, so he decides to investigate her past dating record.

A/N: Makes mention of men on other tv shows outside of CM's world. May seem a little OOC, but that's what fanfics are for. Here's the last chapter, enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

><p>Emily opened the door to Hotch's office and recognized that frustrated look on his face.<p>

"I take it, you just hanged up on Dennis Duffy" Emily said passing Hotch some aspirin and water.

"How can you tell?" Hotch asked taking the pill and drinking the water.

"Because only Dennis can cause that big of a headache with just a few words" Emily said chuckling, "It's his gift."

Emily sat down in the visitor's chair in front of his desk, looking at him.

"I'm not going to tell you that I told you it was a bad idea" Emily said "That look on your face says it all."

"Are you a glutton for punishment or lobbying for sainthood?" Hotch asked watching her pick up the ripped up list.

"Excuse me?" Emily asked looking up at him the list still in her hand.

"No one can date that many bad guys minus Sam Seaborn and Will Schuster" Hotch said "Unless they enjoy pain."

"What can I say?" Emily said looking at him and shrugging, "All the good ones are either gay, taken or not interested."

"So about those final three on your list?" Hotch asked "Why don't you tell me about them?"

"I dated Joey Tribbiani first, but then I met his friend Chandler and liked him better" Emily said looking down.

"And it was when and how did it end?" Hotch asked not judging.

"In the 90s, I ended it because I didn't want to break up their long standing friendship" Emily said biting her lip.

"That was a decent thing to do" Hotch said smiling at her.

"And now you want to know about Dave Malucci?" Emily asked "I met Dave when he was my doctor at a Chicago hospital in 2001."

Hotch nodded not wanting to interrupt.

"We were going good until he was fired from the hospital for having inappropriate relations in an ambulance with a paramedic. He got caught by his superior" Emily said "Needless to say getting fired then dumped on the same day didn't sit well with him."

"Oh" Hotch said looking sad for her "Whatever happened to him?"

"From what I heard, Dave works at a Los Angeles hospital where he's raising his son. I once heard he served in Doctors Without Borders" Emily said "I wasn't really even mad about what he done, we had a few great months. But that's all it was."

"So that's all of them?" Hotch asked "All the men that you can remember?"

"The ones that changed my life in different ways" Emily said.

"And where do I fit in?" Hotch asked.

"Would you like a place in my love life?" Emily asked smiling.

"I think I'd like to be the last one, the one that sticks around" Hotch said going over to her.

"I think I'd like that too" Emily said kissing him.

"Me too" Hotch said throwing the files and the list away.

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><p>David DeAngelo said, "Attraction is not a choice."<p>

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><p><strong>The End <strong>

Hope you all enjoyed this, don't forget to leave a review.


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